It was a dark stormy night the rain hammered down on my wind shield I was arriving at the abandoned asylum the lightning cracked the heavens and roared there the water seemed to cover the whole courtyard my window wipers were broken from such downpour then all of the sudden the moon broke through the clouds staring at the earth below the moonlight bounced of the puddles filling the area with a gloomy light I parked on the curb the front door was worn down ancient it was obvious this place needed work as I looked around there were several scaffoldings I saw a way in I proceeded inside.
I had entered some kind of waiting room there were hospital beds piled up on sides next to each other i pulled out my camera for some footage i figured i should record most of this on camera since I was the only reporter dumb enough to go here for some money the rooms were dirty and full of beds the corridor had green tiles falling of the walls and blood stains on the walls the floor had cracks all over it seemed as if an elephant had waltzed through here several times.As I wandered the seemingly endless corridors the only sound to reach my ears were the flickering lights and my own footsteps then out of nowhere I stumbled upon a metal door with a window and a desk next to it I pushed the door with all my might little did i know that the bolts holding the door were not unhinged.
After making up for my stupidity and heading inside the room was gloomy with a dimmed light and several lockers the only thing of interest was a security terminal at the end of the room it seemed as though someone else had logged on rather recently which i figured should not have been possible since this place has been abandoned for a few years now unless someone else had come here before me but there were no signs of any recent activity but then i heard it, what had caused the cracks in the floor it stopped outside the door i felt my spine depart me. Startled i hid in one of the lockers it smashed on the door the hinges rattling on every hit then the door flew of its hinges and crashed into the wall on the opposite side.
I couldn’t tell what I was looking at whether it was real or an illusion its skin rotten, white eyes,no lips,very decomposed it had no clothes apart from some rugged jeans it had arms that could punch through a brick wall it.The thing strolled around the room I was undecided on what it is some kind of undead being or a patient with some kind of new disease personally I didn’t want to stay long enough to find out.After waiting a minute or so it left and went down the corridor I came out of the locker and observed it go round the corner it went back the way I came so I proceeded in the opposite direction. It seemed the only way to leave this godforsaken place was to go around to the other side without noticing I had entered the hospital wing this room had a really bad vibe then the screams of man reached my ears I looked in his direction my eyes started to weep.
It was just an ordinary man but his disfigurement he had no eyes or limbs and a scar scaling the whole of his chest, he screamed and screamed the the door behind me opened it was another one of the “infected” people I had seen earlier but he had grey hair and could talk he was skinny and wore an apron with blood stains in the shape of hands on it I ducked under one of the empty beds this “doctor” was carrying some kind of machete he drawed open the disfigured man’s chest and pulled out part of his intestines.As I watched this deformed psychopath go at his patient I considered my options there were three ways out a window,and two doors I weighed each one against the other then the doctor went through the door I came in from laughing maliciously then without hesitation I sprinted through the other door and there it was the lift as I pressed the button the sound of footsteps coming closer as the lift descended the doctor dived between the gap of the floor and top of the lift he was laughing as the elevator crushed him but he got one good swing to my right leg I fell back in searing agony the elevator jammed and one of my legs bleeding heavily I just sat there crying waiting for the end….
February 4, 2015 at 1:32 pm
You have been very descriptive in this piece of writing and sequenced your ideas well.
For each paragraph you need to have more than one sentence. You have only used one sentence per paragraph. Revise the rules of simple, compound and complex sentences.
http://eslbee.com/sentences.htm